Growing up I was a bigger kid as you can see from the photo below.  Because I had this eating addiction so young, I would hide what I was eating.  I loved anything frozen.  Especially Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies and Hostess Snowballs and Twinkies.  I couldn’t imagine eating these things now.  When I am alone at home now, which is allot, I would be lying to say that I don’t think about it.  I am human.  I know all too well how wonderful these foods that are so bad for us taste.  I enjoy weird things now.  I smell birthday cake.  I looooove birthday cake.  My sister in law kindly jokes about how doing this will scare the children.  I caught myself this weekend at a roller skating party breathing in a few deep breaths of my sons piece of the ice cream cake that he was given.  Will things ever become stressful for me in my personal life that I will just figure, to heck with it and reach for that Flake chocolate bar that has been sitting in my freezer.  I wont get rid of it but I also wont eat it.  Trust me my brother is hovering like a vulcher waiting for me to hand it over or disclose where I have been hiding it this whole time.  Who knows if it is even good.  I find myself now sometimes overindulging in a couple things but those things are on Dr. Agaston’s approved list.  I am also guilty of having my nightly frozen ricotta cheese when I am not even hungry.  But my family and ice cream go way back.  I dont think we know how to make a single or double scoop bowl.  We are only able to prepare moutain ice cream bowls.  I associate ice cream and fast food with a comfort zone that was enforced by both sides of my family.  Like I said, I dont ever partake anymore but I do hold those memories close to my heart.  This idea sickens me that I think this way.  I hate to associate my life with food when I fight so much to preach otherwise.

Like any alcoholic or drug addict I will always be just one Whoopie Pie away from losing it.  Maybe that it a good thing.  Sort of like when I quit smoking and I kept the patch on as sort of a security blanket.  I guess we all use what we can.  Whatever works right?

This Christmas I have plane tickets to go to St.Louis to see my family.  I am really excited.  Also, my baby sister is getting married while I am there too.  I love my family I do and I cannot wait to see them.  I am sure that I will be blogging abut the eating challenges I am sure I will encounter along the way.  It will be a struggle I assure you.